If it can't be fixed by duct tape or WD-40, it's a female problem. ~Jason Love
My whole life is waiting for the questions to which I have prepared answers. ~Tom Stoppard My whole trick is to keep the tune well out in front. If I play Tchaikovsky, I play his melodies and skip his spiritual struggle. ~Liberace
Macho doesn't prove mucho. ~Zsa Zsa Gabor
Spring has returned. The Earth is like a child that knows poems. ~Rainer Maria Rilke
Ultimate office automation - networked coffee machines. ~Author Unknown
To speak ill of others is a dishonest way of praising ourselves. ~Will and Ariel Durant
A bad day of fishing is better than a good day of work. ~Author Unknown
Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares. ~Hebrews 13:2
If, after the first twenty minutes, you don't know who the sucker at the table is, it's you. ~David Levien and Brian Koppelman, Rounders
The notion that any one person can describe 'what really happened' is an absurdity. If ten - or a hundred - people witness an event, there will be ten - or a hundred - different versions of what took place. ~David and Leigh Eddings
If gay and lesbian people are given civil rights, then everyone will want them! ~Author unknown, as seen on a button at evolvefish.com
The... patient should be made to understand that he or she must take charge of his own life. Don't take your body to the doctor as if he were a repair shop. ~Quentin Regestein
The historian amputates reality. ~Gaetano Salvemini, Historian and Scientist
Cutting through the acronyms and argot that littered the hearing testimony, the Internet may fairly be regarded as a never-ending worldwide conversation. The government may not, through the CDA, interrupt that conversation. ~Stewart Dalzell, ruling on the constitutionality of the Communications Decency Act, 1996
We're shooting 100 percent - 60 percent from the field and 40 percent from the free-throw line. ~Norm Stewart
If you don't have this freedom of the press, then all these little fellows are weaseling around and doing their monkey business and they never get caught. ~Harold R. Medina
It would be far easier to lose weight permanently if replacement parts weren't so handy in the refrigerator. ~Hugh Allen
Oh, why can't we break away from all this, just you and I, and lodge with my fleas in the hills? I mean, flee to my lodge in the hills. ~S.J. Perelman, Will B. Johnstone, and Arthur Sheekman, Monkey Business
I got a postcard from my gynecologist. It said, "Did you know it's time for your annual check-up?" No, but now my mailman does. ~Cathy Ladman
You can tell a child is growing up when he stops asking where he came from and starts refusing to tell where he is going. ~Author Unknown
If the skies fall, one may hope to catch larks. ~Francis Rabelais
If you don't read the newspaper, you are uninformed. If you do read the newspaper, you are misinformed. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain or Thomas Jefferson
God speaks in the silence of the heart. Listening is the beginning of prayer. ~Mother Teresa
Life is not long, and too much of it must not pass in idle deliberation how it shall be spent. ~Samuel Johnson
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