I just don't know why they're shooting at us. All we want to do is bring them democracy and white bread. Transplant the American dream. Freedom. Achievement. Hyperacidity. Affluence. Flatulence. Technology. Tension. The inalienable right to an early coronary sitting at your desk while plotting to stab your boss in the back. ~Hawkeye, "O.R.," original airdate 8 October 1974, written by Larry Gelbart and Laurence Marks, directed by Gene Reynolds
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees. ~J.J. Furnas
There must be millions of people all over the world who never get any love letters... I could be their leader. ~Charlie Brown
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied. ~Oscar Wilde
Whether you think you can or think you can't - you are right. ~Henry Ford
The absolute fundamental aim is to make money out of satisfying customers. ~John Egan
We do not remember days; we remember moments. ~Cesare Pavese, The Burning Brand
Ice cream is exquisite. What a pity it isn't illegal. ~Voltaire
Hope is patience with the lamp lit. ~Tertullian
The darkest hour has only sixty minutes. ~Morris Mandel
You're never fully dressed without a smile. ~Martin Charnin
Love is what you've been through with somebody. ~James Thurber, quoted in Life magazine, 1960
Liberty don't work as good in practice as it does in speeches. ~Will Rogers
The best time to frame an answer to the letters of a friend, is the moment you receive them. Then the warmth of friendship, and the intelligence received, most forcibly cooperate. ~William Shenstone
Your responsibility as a parent is not as great as you might imagine. You need not supply the world with the next conqueror of disease or major motion-picture star. If your child simply grows up to be someone who does not use the word "collectible" as a noun, you can consider yourself an unqualified success. ~Fran Lebowitz, "Parental Guidance," Social Studies, 1981 Your responsibility as a parent is not as great as you might imagine. You need not supply the world with the next conqueror of disease or major motion-picture star. If your child simply grows up to be someone who does not use the word "collectible" as a noun, you can consider yourself an unqualified success. ~Fran Lebowitz, "Parental Guidance," Social Studies, 1981
Men love because they are afraid of themselves, afraid of the loneliness that lives in them, and need someone in whom they can lose themselves as smoke loses itself in the sky. ~V.F. Calverton
A clean house is the sign of a boring person. ~Author Unknown
Today's Parenting Tip: Treat a difficult child the way you would your boss at work. Praise his achievements, ignore his tantrums and resist the urge to sit him down and explain to him how his brain is not yet fully developed. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
He who draws noble delights from sentiments of poetry is a true poet, though he has never written a line in all his life. ~George Sand, 1851
Freedom of the press is guaranteed only to those who own one. ~Abbott Joseph Liebling, "Do You Belong in Journalism?" New Yorker, 4 May 1960
Kissing is a means of getting two people so close together that they can't see anything wrong with each other. ~Rene Yasenek
The walls we build around us to keep sadness out also keeps out the joy. ~Jim Rohn
Obscenity is not a quality inherent in a book or picture, but is solely and exclusively a contribution of the reading mind, and hence cannot be defined in terms of the qualities of a book or picture. ~Theodore Schroeder
Science commits suicide when it adopts a creed. ~Thomas Henry Huxley
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