funny birthday quotes for dad

Kittens believe that all nature is occupied with their diversion. ~F.A. Paradis de Moncrif



The neurotic listens to weather reports about Small Craft Warnings, and he thinks: They're talking about me. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966



A man of my spiritual intensity does not eat corpses. ~George Bernard Shaw



We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day. ~Edith Lovejoy Pierce



As long as the colored man look to white folks to put the crown on what he say... as long as he looks to white folks for approval... then he ain't never gonna find out who he is and what he's about. ~August Wilson, .Jr.



Civilization: a thin veneer over barbarianism. ~John M. Shanahan, The Most Brilliant Thoughts of All Time (In Two Lines or Less)



Never be the first to arrive at a party or the last to go home, and never, ever be both. ~David Brown, quoted in Reader's Digest "Quotable Quotes," April 2004



All mothers are working mothers. ~Author Unknown



Tobacco and alcohol, delicious fathers of abiding friendships and fertile reveries. ~Luis Bu�uel



The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was a genius. ~Sid Caesar



Sisters share the scent and smells - the feel of a common childhood. ~Pam Brown



My test of a good novel is dreading to begin the last chapter. ~Thomas Helm



It's innocence when it charms us, ignorance when it doesn't. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966



One man's folly is another man's wife. ~Helen Rowland



Most of us are aware of and pretend to detest the barefaced instances of that hypocrisy by which men deceive others, but few of us are upon our guard or see that more fatal hypocrisy by which we deceive and over-reach our own hearts. ~Laurence Sterne, 1760



It's difficult to decide whether growing pains are something teenagers have - or are. ~Author Unknown



Don't dig your grave with your own knife and fork. ~English Proverb



There is no sight on earth more appealing than the sight of a woman making dinner for someone she loves. ~Thomas Wolfe



You know you live in Phoenix when the cold-water faucet is hotter than the hot-water faucet. ~Author Unknown



The feeling was elation.... I skip really big and fast. And the amazing thing is, it really cracks me up! I laugh out loud because it is so much fun! And I love to hold my arms out and flap them like a bird.... When I get to the bottom of the trail, I am drenched in sweat and riding high on endorphins from exercise plus laughter. ~Gail, as posted on iskip.com