funny math quotes

It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it's a depression when you lose your own. ~Harry S Truman



His heart and his brain were utterly foreign to all vindictiveness or personal bitterness. He declared himself hotly and strongly against wrong causes, but never against men. ~London Spectator



You might as well fall flat on your face as lean over too far backward. ~James Thurber



If you don't control your mind, someone else will. ~John Allston



They say women talk too much. If you have worked in Congress you know that the filibuster was invented by men. ~Clare Booth Luce



Mistress: something between a mister and a mattress. ~Author Unknown



The funny thing about Thanksgiving, or any huge meal, is that you spend 12 hours shopping for it and then chopping and cooking and braising and blanching. Then it takes 20 minutes to eat it and everybody sort of sits around in a food coma, and then it takes four hours to clean it up. ~Ted Allen



Any notion of the serious life of leisure, as well as men's taste and capacity to live it, has disappeared. Leisure has become entertainment. ~Allan Bloom, The Closing of the American Mind, 1987



You don't get harmony when everybody sings the same note. ~Doug Floyd



Sometimes I think my life would make a great TV movie. It even has the part where they say, "Stand by. We are experiencing temporary difficulties." ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com



As long as mankind shall continue to bestow more liberal applause on their destroyers than on their benefactors, the thirst of military glory will ever be the vice of exalted characters. ~Edward Gibbon



In nature, there are neither rewards nor punishments; there are consequences. ~Robert Greene Ingersoll, "The New Testament," Some Reasons Why, 1881



Mankind has invested more than four million years of evolution in the attempt to avoid physical exertion. Now a group of backward-thinking atavists mounted on foot-powered pairs of Hula-Hoops would have us pumping our legs, gritting our teeth, and searing our lungs as though we were being chased across the Pleistocene savanna by saber-toothed tigers. Think of the hopes, the dreams, the effort, the brilliance, the pure force of will that, over the eons, has gone into the creation of the Cadillac Coupe de Ville. Bicycle riders would have us throw all this on the ash heap of history. ~P.J. O'Rourke



In church, sacred music would make believers of us all - but preachers can be counted on to restore the balance. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960



A university is just a group of buildings gathered around a library. ~Shelby Foote



So our human life but dies down to its root, and still puts forth its green blade to eternity. ~Henry David Thoreau, Walden



My country is the world, and my religion is to do good. ~Thomas Paine



And if you find everything as soon as you look for it, you find it in vain, you look for it in vain. ~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin



You're an old-timer if you can remember when setting the world on fire was a figure of speech. ~Franklin P. Jones, referring to the atomic bomb You're booty-blinded. You know what that is? It's like being snow-blinded only it ain't no snow, it's a cute little piece of ass. ~From the movie I Spy



The dead hand has too long hampered the freedom of the living. ~James Robertson