sad love quotes xanga

Golf balls are attracted to water as unerringly as the eye of a middle-aged man to a female bosom. ~Michael Green, The Art of Coarse Golf, 1967



Infatuation is when you think he's as sexy as Robert Redford, as smart as Henry Kissinger, as noble as Ralph Nader, as funny as Woody Allen, and as athletic as Jimmy Conners. Love is when you realize that he's as sexy as Woody Allen, as smart as Jimmy Connors, as funny as Ralph Nader, as athletic as Henry Kissinger and nothing like Robert Redford - but you'll take him anyway. ~Judith Viorst, Redbook, 1975



Don't accept rides from strange men - and remember that all men are as strange as hell. ~Robin Morgan



Hockey belongs to the Cartoon Network, where a person can be pancaked by an ACME anvil, then expanded - accordion-style - back to full stature, without any lasting side effect. ~Steve Rushin



Once a woman has forgiven her man, she must not reheat his sins for breakfast. ~Marlene Dietrich



Seeing a murder on television... can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some. ~Alfred Hitchcock



The sport of choice for the urban poor is basketball. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is bowling. The sport of choice for front-line workers is football. The sport of choice for supervisors is baseball. The sport of choice for middle management is tennis. The sport of choice for corporate officers is golf. Conclusion: The higher you are in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become. ~Author Unknown



The unique impression of Jesus upon mankind - whose name is not so much written as ploughed into the history of the world - is proof of the subtle virtue of this infusion. Jesus belonged to the race of prophets. He saw with open eyes the mystery of the soul. One man was true to what is in you and me. He, as I think, is the only soul in history who has appreciated the worth of man. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson



For me there is no greater subject than history. How a man can study it and not be forced to become a philosopher, I cannot tell. ~George E. Wilson



Reduce the complexity of life by eliminating the needless wants of life, and the labors of life reduce themselves. ~Edwin Way Teale



Till now man has been up against Nature; from now on he will be up against his own nature. ~Dennis Gabor, Inventing the Future, 1964



Have a very good reason for everything you do. ~Laurence Olivier Have children while your parents are still young enough to take care of them. ~Rita Rudner Have cognition before ignition. ~Author Unknown



Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken. ~Author Unknown



Who ever thought up the word "Mammogram?" Every time I hear it, I think I'm supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone. ~Jan King



Fear is faith that it won't work out. ~Sister Mary Tricky



We could use up two Eternities in learning all that is to be learned about our own world and the thousands of nations that have arisen and flourished and vanished from it. Mathematics alone would occupy me eight million years. ~Mark Twain



Art disturbs, science reassures. ~Georges Braque, Le Jour et la nuit



My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it's on your plate. That's my philosophy. ~Thornton Wilder



It is a pity that instead of the Pilgrim Fathers landing on Plymouth Rock, Plymouth Rock had not landed on the Pilgrim Fathers. ~Chauncey Depew, at an 1881 New England Society meeting in New York



Our live experiences, fixed in aphorisms, stiffen into cold epigram. Our heart's blood, as we write with it, turns to mere dull ink. ~F.H. Bradley